Let us begin by saying; I am all for keeping the home and surroundings clean and neat and I do know how a clean environment compliments good health in a completely invisible yet powerful way. To know more on this read the importance of de-cluttering your space.
The thing I noticed was that even if these spaces were filled (like blocked literally), they were not overflowing. Even the dress I bought and never wore was neatly folded in my cupboard; the pile of bills in the drawer and unused stuff were arranged so well all around me.
Last year, I realized that I had a problem. I had a problem with blank spaces.
Whether it was an empty shelf in my closet or a pause in my conversation, I desired it to be filled. Filled with what though, I’m not entirely sure. But I know when I leave it vacant, be it a wall with a painting, mind with a thought and a closet with another option, it feels like something is missing and the earlier it is filled, the better it was for me.
Are you able to relate to this? Or do you know someone who might?
Take a look around the room you are in right now or even your desk or your backpack. How many shelves or surfaces or pockets are free of objects? If you are in public, how many people around you are NOT listening to music or texting? None or one.
I think we hate spaces. I have a problem. You (or at least many of you) have a problem. Society has a problem.
These neatly arranged (read as jam packed) spaces were dust free and also labelled but they did occupy space. The year 2020 for me became a year to create space/ ‘eliminate clutter’ thanks to the crazy, confusing, imposed indoor- time. I literally and figuratively, identified and cleared clutter and made empty spaces. What started as purely an exercise for physical spaces became the cleaning spree for cluttered mental spaces too, naturally and organically.
I got the empty boxes and old suitcases and filled them with stuff I thought I would use and never did. These were useless mindless purchases or/and something I wasn’t ready to part with.
In that one year, I basically got rid of anything that either filled a space and was best unseen, deep in that drawer and in the closed closet or in the deep dark side of the mind. I did this exercise room by room, drawer by drawer, closet by closet and thought by thought.
The start was really daunting, like any other beginning, this was also a painful but much required task. I tried to work on clearing the mind and physical spaces simultaneously, while doing one I was also doing the other. I addressed my mental clutter of course via my morning pages (I hope you remember those from our previous newsletter) and cleared physical spaces by systematically accepting instead of mindlessly dumping and throwing.
To see the clutter right in front of me, a pile on the bed or floor and those of mind on pages, made me discover a lot about myself. I realized why I did not wear a particular type of clothing although I ambitiously purchased it. I realized that it was not my style. Then the question came “what was my style?” What was most often worn or most often used, be it a book, lipstick or that comfy pants? So then evolved my style; my favorite books, my favorite colors, slowly I embraced myself. Same with the thoughts, first on paper they looked so heavy and so prickly but as I worked with them by not hiding but inviting them on paper, they befriended me and many left me and made me see those lovely empty spaces in my heart and mind.
I think I have discovered at least one reason why we struggle with our blank spaces- we focus too much on what’s not there, instead of what is.
Think about it. If you previously had a closet overflowing to the brim with articles of clothing, regardless of whether you wore most of them, what you saw when you looked in the closet was likely a person who was doing pretty well for themselves, even if you only acknowledged this in your subconscious. You also likely saw the opportunity for many choices.
We love having choices, don’t we?
Even though too many choices only produce stress and dissatisfaction. But we don’t care, we only know that ten shirts are better than three; and there’s always room for one more!
I learned from a lovely book I recently read on minimalism that:
If you look at it, it’s all about perspective.
If we choose to look beyond the emptiness, we will find something else entirely. And that my friend is: Freedom.
Freedom from being a slave to our stuff through cleaning, organizing, and worry.
Freedom in our finances to give, travel, and experience life more spontaneously.
Freedom in our spaces and homes to entertain, play, and live.
Freedom in our mind as lack of distraction and more room to be creative.
What happens then when we apply the same perspective shift to our relationships, our thoughts, and our physical bodies? We begin to see our lives and our choices not for what we’re giving up, but for what we are gaining.
Blank space in our social activities means more time with family, more time to relax, and more time pursuing our passions.
Blank space in our thoughts means time to process what we’re doing, rather than just reacting to it. It means we can begin to develop opinions and values in regards to our choices, rather than just accepting what others tell us we should feel or do.
Blank space in regard to our bodies mean being able to feel hunger again, and respond to our body’s cues, rather than assuming that we need to eat because we are bored. It also means not seeing what we miss out on when we make healthy choices, rather seeing what we gain: health, confidence, and a fitter body. Rest is also important. By not constantly putting strain on our bodies we are allowing ourselves time to recover and rejuvenate.
Don’t see the emptiness in your blank spaces, see the possibilities.
You must be thinking what I did with my discarded physical belongings? Actually, they were not in a bad condition and hence these bags were then given to a lovely woman who runs a thrift store in my city. It was a tough call and definitely my homies thought I have lost my mind :). But you know the empty spaces, they made me truly grateful and appreciate the rest of my stuff.
It took some effort and lots of work for both the physical and mental clutter to leave my home, but as they left and I waved them farewell, I started seeing clean empty spaces, empty drawers, bare table tops, vacant chairs and also a lot of mental space to take up new and old projects which added meaning to those spaces. I decided to keep some places vacant, bare and unoccupied, because that became a symbol of my freedom, and it can be yours too if you just see the power of spaces!
May the wide spaces get you closer to your true intention!